Birthdays and Bereavement
I have yet to shake my grief, but it's my birthday, so let's celebrate!
1 day before my birthday
It's one day before my birthday, and I'm not feeling celebratory. Usually, I love my birthday, but this year has been difficult, and it's barely the second month of the year.
I'm currently listening to my friend Simon's music. He's an incredibly talented pianist, and each piece of music he's composed is so beautiful that I keep getting lost in the music. The music is melancholic, and somehow that soothes my sad soul.
My birthday
It's my birthday today, and so far it's just been okay. I'm giving myself the day off from doing things I don't want to and focusing on doing things that bring me joy/make me happy. That means letting go of my workaholic tendencies and accepting the fact that I can do things that aren't necessarily productive (although here I am, working on this post instead of doing something more relaxing).
So far, I've spent a bulk of the day crocheting while listening to Kaikeyi by Vaishnavi Patel. I'm not very far into the book, but it's an enchanting story. I keep bringing the book up to my friends, giving them the play-by-play of what happens in the story as I read along, while trying not to give away too many details. Just enough to hopefully get them interested. It's a story about a young princess who, after her mother is banished for unknown reasons, discovers a scroll that teaches her to use a certain type of magic. I would love to say more, but I want to give you the chance to discover the secrets of this book for yourself.
I'm still grieving. Writing this post was difficult due to the weighted blanket of depression upon me. I've got all my mental health professionals helping me cope with this, plus a "Dopamenu" to pull me through (if you'd like to know about my dopamine-triggering list of things to do, let me know and I'll write a post about it), but in some ways I just have to let time do its thing. I'm so fucking impatient, though.
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