I relate to this, although my health scare bugbear is cardiovascular rather than cancer. One of my maternal great-grandmothers died from acute myelogenous leukemia at 79, and my paternal grandmother developed leukemia which metastasized to her breasts and liver when she was in her eighties. The cancer wasn't what killed her. Both sides of my family have a lot of cardiovascular stuff.
As an agnostic, I don't know what awaits me on the other side, but we'll just say I've seen some shit that leads me to believe there's something beyond material existence.
I do fear my work never being acknowledged during my lifetime and I don't anticipate much of anyone remembering me. I'm estranged from most of my family. My brother doesn't have any children, nor does my son. The only family members I'm at all close to are my brother, my son, and my mother. I only have a handful of friends but none I'm super close to.
Thank you for sharing with me. I'm sorry to hear your grandparents had to deal with cancer.
I have no idea what awaits on the other side, either. There is the belief of the religion I hold now and the belief of the religion I used to hold, and then there are all the other beliefs I've encountered over the years, and I just don't know. And I don't think I'm going to know the answer until my time on earth is over.
I can understand the fear of never having your work acknowledged. It feels good to be seen and feel seen by other people.
Being estranged from family is tough. For me, it feels a bit like missing out on community, even if the community was pretty awful to be a part of.
This resonates with me...
I relate to this, although my health scare bugbear is cardiovascular rather than cancer. One of my maternal great-grandmothers died from acute myelogenous leukemia at 79, and my paternal grandmother developed leukemia which metastasized to her breasts and liver when she was in her eighties. The cancer wasn't what killed her. Both sides of my family have a lot of cardiovascular stuff.
As an agnostic, I don't know what awaits me on the other side, but we'll just say I've seen some shit that leads me to believe there's something beyond material existence.
I do fear my work never being acknowledged during my lifetime and I don't anticipate much of anyone remembering me. I'm estranged from most of my family. My brother doesn't have any children, nor does my son. The only family members I'm at all close to are my brother, my son, and my mother. I only have a handful of friends but none I'm super close to.
Thank you for sharing with me. I'm sorry to hear your grandparents had to deal with cancer.
I have no idea what awaits on the other side, either. There is the belief of the religion I hold now and the belief of the religion I used to hold, and then there are all the other beliefs I've encountered over the years, and I just don't know. And I don't think I'm going to know the answer until my time on earth is over.
I can understand the fear of never having your work acknowledged. It feels good to be seen and feel seen by other people.
Being estranged from family is tough. For me, it feels a bit like missing out on community, even if the community was pretty awful to be a part of.
I relate to this so much - ty for putting into writing!